During quarantine, everyone is forced to stay home, and it is usually difficult for teenagers to tolerate because they do not like to be confined and feel vulnerable. In addition, adolescence is quite gentle, and usually, children at this age confide their problems more to friends than parents. So how to cope with common teen issues during the quarantine?
1. Do not dramatize
Parents of teenagers are often most similar to teenagers: they are too excited and perceive everything in black and white. Teens’ emotionality is contagious.
Hysterics, conflicts, bold hopes and disappointments are the realities of teenage life. They were experienced by all. And global teen problems are not the exception to the rules. So do not dramatize. If emotions are already full, connect your mind and calm yourself as you can: from breathing techniques to drops of sedative.
2. “Who is in charge?” – Does it matter?
Loving parents may insist that a 16-year-old is still a child. But you will not deceive the subconscious mind. It indicates that another adult has appeared in the area. And if not a team member, then a competitor. So a real battle for power and resources will unfold. And it will seem to you that you are raising a child. Pre-school words will go in the way: “This is my house and you will live as I said”, “There is nothing yours, everything is bought for my money” and “You do not have the right to vote until you did not start making money. ” However, think about whether you need such a “weapon” in this fight?
If you presented a friend a phone for a birthday, will you ask to look at his photo and correspondence, because the smartphone was bought for your money? S why do you consider your property something that you presented to your son or daughter?
Waiver of competition is not a waiver of leadership. Parents are at the top of the family hierarchy not only in Australia but everywhere, as they take responsibility. And so they set the rules. But if you keep saying it in words (especially using forbidden techniques), it means that something went wrong: the baby is headed, or you live without rules.
3. Rights are added to the liability
If a teenager wants empowerment, it is great. But with them, the area of responsibility increases. That is, if a kid wants to buy a “toy” (gadget or something) for your monthly salary, they are obliged to participate in the running of the family budget and to cover their expenses.
The teenager cannot provide himself fully, but he is able, for example, not only to earn money for entertainment but also to pay for some utilities or for their professional college essay writing service. During quarantine, your student may need a custom essay and this is absolutely normal, but you need to understand who will pay for these services. And parents should give him a living space and treat the order there (even the clutter) as respectfully as the neighbour’s territory.
If a teenager does not make money, he can invest his job. For certain works, the reward is the result itself, and the punishment is its absence. For example, if your son or daughter keeps forgetting to buy groceries, you can forget to cook.
The teenager has the right to refuse or take on a double load. But the family, too, spends a minimum or maximum amount of money on what the teenager wants. And all this without unnecessary words, reproaches and admonitions.
4. Use social networks
You do not need social networks to track your teen’s private contacts and control what your son or daughter writes on their page. Use them for their intended purpose: share information, own position, maintain interest in yourself.
Your children may not know that you ever danced salsa or know about the history of the Middle Ages. Most of all, they know how you eat, clean, watch movies, and go shopping. So show them yourself on the other side.
5. Allow to criticize you
Do not strive to be perfect parents: no matter how happy the childhood was, every psychoanalyst’s client remembers a lot of their parents misses. So let the teen cover himself well enough, otherwise, he will not be able to separate himself from his parents’ settings and start thinking independently.
However, distinguish criticism from rudeness. Let the teenager say what he wants to, but not in a rude way. Require politeness, do not be afraid of how it may be taken. The teenager will learn to criticize in an acceptable form, it will help him in adulthood.
During quarantine, the relationship with your teenager may either improve or worsen, but this is not a reason to give up. Remember that these are just periods. The quarantine and adolescence periods. And both will end sooner or later.