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JULY 2020

British-Style Democracy: Evidence Of Massive Cocaine Use Discovered In House Of Commons


British-Style Democracy: Evidence Of Massive Cocaine Use Discovered In House Of Commons

Click to see full-size image

The Vice’s Michael Segalov found evidence of cocaine use in the UK’s House of Commons.

The test for the presence cocaine was simple – unseal the pale pink wipe and rub it on your chosen surface; if there are traces of cocaine present, it’ll turn blue.

So, the journalist went into several rooms that can be accessed with a pass and tested.

Sakalov checked several locations.

Norman Shaw North – a building full of MPs’ offices.

“With the help of a friend with a pass, I made my way in and randomly picked a men’s bathroom on the third floor.”

British-Style Democracy: Evidence Of Massive Cocaine Use Discovered In House Of Commons

A swab from a toilet in the Norman Shaw North building. Photograph by the Vice. Click to see full-size image

The wipe immediately turned blue after he ran it across the surfaces.

While leaving the bathroom, he passed the offices of Stephen Crabb, a Tory MP who was briefly Secretary of State for Work and Pensions in 2016.

Naturally, it doesn’t mean Stephen Crabb specifically was the “guilty” one, since many MPs and aides use the toilets.

On another floor Sakalov went into the toilets near Michael Fallon’s offices, another MP. There was traces of less concentrated cocaine, suggesting less heavy use by the frequenters of the toilet.

“I tried another loo, this time near Boris Johnson’s base, but found nothing. The disabled toilets by Diane Abbott’s office also came up clean.”

Then, Sakalov went to The Woolsack, which is one of several bars in the Palace of Westminster and is “a favourite hangout of young aides and older pass holders.”

He went to the disabled toilet and found small traces of cocaine, despite heavy smell of cleaning products and bleach.

British-Style Democracy: Evidence Of Massive Cocaine Use Discovered In House Of Commons

Swab from the toilet opposite the Strangers’ Bar. Photograph by the Vice. Click to see full-size image

Following that, the journalist went to the toilets opposite the Strangers’ Bar – which is only accessible to MPs, their invited guests, high ranking public officials and accredited parliamentary journalists.

“There, I found a huge amount of cocaine residue – so much so that a good deal of the swab turned blue.”

These are actually the successful examples, since Sakalov admitted the tested 9 locations accessible to pass holders and 4 of them came up positive.

Sakalov wanted to reach Crackdown Testing for a comment, which is the company that produces the wipes. Unfortunately, the company had ceased operation.

He contacted Zoom Testing, which essentially produces the same product.

“Our cocaine wipes are sensitive to trace amounts of cocaine residue left on any surface,” a spokesperson explained. “They can detect the presence of cocaine by simply wiping over the suspected surface. If the wipe turns blue, this identifies the presence of the drug and may be sufficient cause for further investigation.”

The spokesperson added that the trace amounts of cocaine that can be found in the mains water supply are “extremely unlikely” to show up on their swabs.

A Parliamentary spokesperson said: “Parliament takes the issue of substance misuse very seriously and offers a range of welfare and health support services for those who need them. Parliament is a public place and we welcome over a million visitors a year who have access to the facilities. Should drug use be identified in Parliament, appropriate action would be taken.”

The popularity of this specific issue came up after Tory leadership hopeful Michael Gove admitted to using cocaine when he was a journalist 20 years ago and was “fortunate” to avoid prison.

Other Tory officials were also asked if they had taken drugs:

Boris Johnson: in the past he provided two different versions of his alleged drug use –

  1. I think I was once given cocaine, but I sneezed and so it did not go up my nose. In fact, I may have been doing icing sugar.”
  2. He admitted to trying cocaine and cannabis at university, saying it “achieved no pharmacological, psychotropic or any other effect on me whatsoever.”

Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt: “I think I had a cannabis lassi when I went backpacking through India.”

Andrea Leadsom: she had smoked cannabis at university but had never done it since. “I have never taken cocaine or class A drugs,” she said, adding: “Everyone is entitled to a private life before becoming an MP.”

Dominic Raab: he admitted taking cannabis as a student, said: “At university, I tried cannabis, not very often as I was into sport. It was a mistake, particularly the more I know now about the link between it and mental health issues. But it was a long time ago and was particularly few and far between and I have never taken cocaine or any class A drugs.”

Home Secretary Sajid Javid: he said he had never taken any soft or hard drugs: “It doesn’t matter if you are middle class or not – anyone who takes class A drugs, they need to think about that supply chain that comes from Colombia, let’s say, to Chelsea and the number of lives that are destroyed along the way.”

Rory Stewart: he said he had smoked opium in Afghanistan just recently at a wedding. “I was invited into the house, the opium pipe was passed around at a wedding,” he said, adding that the family may have been so poor that they put very little opium into the pipe.

Dug use is nothing that far out of the ordinary, even for politicians. However, the massive use of cocaine in the British House of Commons and, most likeyl, the British government is quite ironic because the very same people contribute a significant amount of time to name and shame ‘wrong regimes’ around the world.



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  • Rob

    Iran should keep ready all the time. The Trump build up in Persian’s Gulf is not meaningless. If Trump can butchers small babies at Maxican border so why Trump cannot invade Iranian civilians.

    After next Trump provocation against Iran or false flag attack on ships Trump could attack Iran with a full scale. Or Trump may invade Iran without informing anybody. Never trust Trump and Israels because both are evils, idiots and both are non friendly terrorists.

    • John Whitehot

      this is an article about coke in or around the british parliament. you are being ot.

      “Trump could attack Iran with a full scale”

      Iran will answer with a colour lmao.

      • FlorianGeyer

        Yes, I am as shocked as I am sure you are that members of parliament are ‘ Putting their reputations on the line, John :)

        • John Whitehot

          yeah, lmao. who would had ever thought about this.

    • National Pride

      “Butcher small babies at [the Mexican] border”

      Are we you’re not on coke?

      • occupybacon

        Rob is so stupid he doesn’t know how to use coke. His mom asks him to blow it through a straw directly into her arse.

        • Rob

          I have never tried Coke and I would never try that. I don’t need Coke. May be you need coke.

          • occupybacon

            Don’t touch your mum’s Coke, Rob! Or she doesn’t let you smash

      • Rob

        Democratic candidates hold Trump responsible for deaths; call it a “stain on our moral conscience”.

    • Jens Holm

      You certainly keep Your low level well.

  • John Whitehot

    “He admitted to trying cocaine and cannabis at university, saying it “achieved no pharmacological, psychotropic or any other effect on me whatsoever.”

    Strange, he must be the only one not realizing the effect of such substances have on him.

  • Toronto Tonto

    Is this the good Russian cocaine like the stuff from the south American Russian embassy .

    • gustavo

      My dear ignorant fellow, you must watch “Kill de Messenger.” Then, maybe you will be able to understand who control the drog in the world.

  • newshole

    Bolsonaro didn’t have 85 pounds of cocaine on his presidential plane for personal use.

  • Tchoutoye

    So Britain is a cocaine monarchy rather than a banana republic.

  • Jens Holm

    A few years ago they tested Russians and Middleeasters for honesty.